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Following Jesus in real life

How to Solve Church Conflicts

4/1/2019

 
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I remember being invited to speak at a big church in Torrance. When I got there, I realized I was only there for half the church, because there was a church split and the two halves were worshiping separately on the same property. Yeah, that was really awkward. But unfortunately, church splitting is as common as church planting. No wonder there are so many books out there on church conflict. Most of them are bad, only because it addresses only one or two factors of church conflict and doesn't apply to the myriad of different kinds of conflict in the church. Finally, there comes a book that has it all. The best book on church conflict, and it comes out tomorrow - April 2! (I was given 2 months to read it, but it's been really busy.) 
When Church Conflict Happens: A Proven Process for Resolving Unhealthy Disagreements and Embracing Healthy Ones
by Michael Hare. You know how a math nerd likes a book of intricate math problems or a chess enthusiast likes a book of chess strategies, or a word nerd loves solving cross-word puzzles? This book is kind of like that, or all of those. In addition to great principles and strategies for solving church problems, this book is full of real life examples, or problems that need to be solved. It's like a ministry puzzle book for ministry nerds. Some of the problems, I smile, because I remember going through them, and solving them in similar ways. Other problems remind me that the playing field is huge, as intricate as the people involved. Unlike math, each problem is unique, based on history, culture, personalities, intergroup fighting, intragroup fighting, intrapersonal, etc, and there are multiple solutions.
 
Here's a small exerpt:
The board recommended a congregational meeting for resolving a controversial issue. It started out okay, but then several people started talking at the same time, then it came to yelling at each other. Others joined in, and it got pretty ugly. Within a month, the church split and about a third of the congregation went down the street and started a new church.
 
Sadly, this example is all too common, so there are actually many books that address church conflict. This book, in my opinion is the best one. It has great principles for solving any church conflict, including a workbook section to work on your specific issues at church. I recommend this book for anyone in fulltime church ministry. A necessary book for any senior pastor or executive pastor.

I would like to thank Moody Publishers for an advance copy of the book.


Make Small Church Great Again

2/18/2018

 
I’ve been serving in a small church (less than 250 people is a small church), which is quite different from serving in a megachurch. So it was timely that the publisher sent me this book to review before it’s published. The book is Small Church Essentials by Karl Vaters. It comes out March 6th.

​If I could change the title of this book, I’d call it “Make Small Church Great Again” because that’s what it’s about. A few things to note. This is not a church growth book, i.e., how to make your small church into a big church. But also, he’s not defending how 
small churches are great, or that big churches suck. He’s not trying to grow small churches into bigger ones. ​
 
There’s nothing wrong with a church being small, and he’s not saying it’s better or more intimate. And churches that suck can be big or small. He’s simply saying: You can be a great small church, and this is how you do it. He defines the “greatness” of a church, the health, not measured by growth, but measured by effectiveness. In addition, he doesn’t believe in the mantra, “If a church is healthy, it will naturally grow bigger.”
 
Although much of my ministry experience has been in big churches, I am aware that 90% of churches out there are easily categorized as under 250 (small church). However, I’ve realized that most conferences out there come from a big church point of view. From vision statements to game ideas, they are sourced from “successful” churches, i.e. “big” churches. There are unique challenges in a small church and particular issues that come up. But those are not specifically addressed, just a typical footnote I’ve heard so often “you may have to modify these ideas to fit your particular church context.”
 
From experience, those conference ideas from big churches actually work in every big church, regardless of denomination, tradition, or region, with very little modification. However, two small churches in the same area, in the same denomination, can be vastly different, needing vastly different strategies to work for change and discipleship. When those conference ideas and values need to be vastly modified, then you need a different type of conference. or a book.
 
Karl Vater’s insights and advice are very practical, coming from his experience of pastoring a small church for many years. After being discouraged many times that the church growth methods weren’t working for his church, he switched gears and perspective about the purpose of his church (and The Church). He realized it was possible, and very probable, that some small churches are healthy churches. But why?
 
Some parts of the book seem quite typical, e.g., give people a heads up before you start changing things. But he also writes about things that are not so obvious, and others that are surprising. For example, he says that not every small church needs a small groups ministry; that’s more a big church necessity. And if you’re creating a small groups program because you actually sense a need, not because the “experts” say you need one, then use your instincts. You may know more about implementing small groups at your church than the small group “experts” who don’t know the unique characteristics of your church. And if you can’t find someone else who will be trained to lead the small groups ministry, then forget about it, because you shouldn’t lead one yourself (burn out).
 
Also, churches less than 250 in attendance don’t really need mission or vision statements. The book also points out that “vision-casting” is done very megachurch style, and in a very Old Testament fashion, like Moses (the pastor) directing the people. It made me realize I was taking the ever-popular vision-casting verse out of context “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” (Prov 29:18), and the only time most of us quote from the KJV.
 
Before doing new things, get rid of the old things. We have limited space. not just physically, but also emotionally, psychologically, spiritually. Before creating new programs, make space for it, or see if the “closet” is big enough. Either revamp ineffective programs or close it down.
 
Yeah, really good insight that I haven’t read elsewhere. Plus, he gets to the point. I’ve noticed an upward trend in new Christian books of 2018: the author starts off each chapter with a long story or two. This book doesn’t do that. He acknowledges that small church pastors are way too busy to read books for enjoyment, so he gets to the point and writes matter-of-fact.
 
Actually, this book has little value for pastors working in megachurches. However, for those in small churches, it will serve mostly as an encouragement, and as a side, some helpful tips on making your church strong and effective. Well worth the read!

I would like to thank Moody Publishers for sending me a copy of this book.
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    About this Blog:

    ​Adventures of Uber Pastor as he talks to random people about religion and Jesus, including apologetics videos, pre-release book reviews, and thoughts on Christianity.

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