While I wait for my next call, I’ve been driving for Lyft, trying to get access to the culture of LA. So here are some stories and what I’ve learned.
On South Central street in Compton, I picked up 3 gangsters who were headed to a shooting range. I was going to say, “Don’t you guys get enough practice here?” but decided not to end my life today. Instead, I just blurted, “well, practice makes perfect.” I learned that gangsters like jazz “because it’s peaceful.” Also, teens in the hood take Lyft/Uber because it’s safer than crossing the street to take the bus. But there was one tense moment when a rival gang member was spotted on the corner. If any guns came out, I was going to go fast&furious. Instead, one of the quipped, “fool’s making our hood dangerous.” how ironic.
I had 3 Hollywood producers in the car. As soon as one of them got dropped off, they started talking trash about her. wow, so Hollywood. how iconic.
This drunk chick threw up in my car, “it’s all over my dress.” you got it on my seat too. pretty face+pretty dress+barf is the picture of a sinner. No matter how much napkins you use, you need a wash. how toxic.
strippers like to be called dancers. what? you got offended because I actually called you by what you do? It doesn’t matter what you call yourself – transgender/political/recreational druggie. God judges you by what you do. how moronic
They were going to her place for a one-night-stand on a first date. Even stopped by a 7-11 for a condom. They were making out in the back, so I quipped, “Must be true love,” ruining his “game.” He said he would give me a 1-star rating for that comment. ~ooh I’m scared. I’m sure that’s the rating she would’ve given his puny dick. how parasitic.
I picked up a DJ whose iphone was just full of jazz and classical music, because he said dance music reminded him of work. how symphonic.
A man said goodbye to his wife and kids as he got in my car. I was surprised when the destination was a strip club. He puts his life in the hands of a stranger who could publish his name and address and away from the hands of those who love him. how pathetic.
These 3 girls left early from a club and they were full on arguing in the car. I tried to change the conversation and they asked me about my day. I told them I just got off from filming How to Get Away With Murder, and they were so excited because they were fans. They briefly forgot their troubles, as I nimbly stepped into their quarrel and gave them some pastoral advice. I dissected their issues from each other’s perspective, so they would see the whole picture of what actually happened. They laughed and then they cried, saying that they care about each other. They left very thankful. how harmonic.
She lost her job because she finally told off her boss. She was sick of his attitude and overworking. She kept it in for so long. but it all came out. She feels righteous. But now she regrets. how atomic.
This guy was in a rush to get to a concert an hour away. But there was traffic. He offered more tip to get there. I don’t care about the money, but I care about speed. He was amazed as I weaved through traffic and got him to Irvine 20 minutes early. how supersonic.
This couple was celebrating their anniversary by going to a cat café. Then afterwards, shoot guns. Those 2 activities are worlds apart. just shows how variable people are; can’t put them in a box, like cats. how ‘cat’atonic.
She was dating a guy from Masters Seminary and wondered if he would go for a “spiritual union” instead of a traditional marriage. I said no way and proceeded to tell her about the people of Masters Seminary. Then I told her God’s design for marriage between a man and wife. how monogamic.
Sometimes, people want a picture of my race car. I ask, “Do you want me in it?” and they respond, “yeah, you look good.” I guess I’m photogenic.
I hope these observations are sermonic.
On South Central street in Compton, I picked up 3 gangsters who were headed to a shooting range. I was going to say, “Don’t you guys get enough practice here?” but decided not to end my life today. Instead, I just blurted, “well, practice makes perfect.” I learned that gangsters like jazz “because it’s peaceful.” Also, teens in the hood take Lyft/Uber because it’s safer than crossing the street to take the bus. But there was one tense moment when a rival gang member was spotted on the corner. If any guns came out, I was going to go fast&furious. Instead, one of the quipped, “fool’s making our hood dangerous.” how ironic.
I had 3 Hollywood producers in the car. As soon as one of them got dropped off, they started talking trash about her. wow, so Hollywood. how iconic.
This drunk chick threw up in my car, “it’s all over my dress.” you got it on my seat too. pretty face+pretty dress+barf is the picture of a sinner. No matter how much napkins you use, you need a wash. how toxic.
strippers like to be called dancers. what? you got offended because I actually called you by what you do? It doesn’t matter what you call yourself – transgender/political/recreational druggie. God judges you by what you do. how moronic
They were going to her place for a one-night-stand on a first date. Even stopped by a 7-11 for a condom. They were making out in the back, so I quipped, “Must be true love,” ruining his “game.” He said he would give me a 1-star rating for that comment. ~ooh I’m scared. I’m sure that’s the rating she would’ve given his puny dick. how parasitic.
I picked up a DJ whose iphone was just full of jazz and classical music, because he said dance music reminded him of work. how symphonic.
A man said goodbye to his wife and kids as he got in my car. I was surprised when the destination was a strip club. He puts his life in the hands of a stranger who could publish his name and address and away from the hands of those who love him. how pathetic.
These 3 girls left early from a club and they were full on arguing in the car. I tried to change the conversation and they asked me about my day. I told them I just got off from filming How to Get Away With Murder, and they were so excited because they were fans. They briefly forgot their troubles, as I nimbly stepped into their quarrel and gave them some pastoral advice. I dissected their issues from each other’s perspective, so they would see the whole picture of what actually happened. They laughed and then they cried, saying that they care about each other. They left very thankful. how harmonic.
She lost her job because she finally told off her boss. She was sick of his attitude and overworking. She kept it in for so long. but it all came out. She feels righteous. But now she regrets. how atomic.
This guy was in a rush to get to a concert an hour away. But there was traffic. He offered more tip to get there. I don’t care about the money, but I care about speed. He was amazed as I weaved through traffic and got him to Irvine 20 minutes early. how supersonic.
This couple was celebrating their anniversary by going to a cat café. Then afterwards, shoot guns. Those 2 activities are worlds apart. just shows how variable people are; can’t put them in a box, like cats. how ‘cat’atonic.
She was dating a guy from Masters Seminary and wondered if he would go for a “spiritual union” instead of a traditional marriage. I said no way and proceeded to tell her about the people of Masters Seminary. Then I told her God’s design for marriage between a man and wife. how monogamic.
Sometimes, people want a picture of my race car. I ask, “Do you want me in it?” and they respond, “yeah, you look good.” I guess I’m photogenic.
I hope these observations are sermonic.
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